How Setting Boundaries Changed My Life
According to Oxford dictionary, the word boundary is defined as, a dividing line which marks the limits of an area. In simpler terms, it’s the line boldly set so others know, not to cross it, or you, for that matter. We often see boundaries as guidelines in sports games, street signs etc. but it’s time we started setting those same bold boundaries in our everyday lives. It’s time we set the restrictions of what people can and can not do to us, and be unwavering with our wants, needs and the things we’ll accept.
So often we accept what’s thrown in our direction, no matter how unwanted or uncomfortable it may be. From that former romantic partner who conveniently decides to keep popping back up into our lives, (the Chris Brown’s of the world) or from our workaholic managers who give us excessive workloads as if we didn’t have lives of our own. Everyday we are faced with the inconveniences of other people and expected to just be okay with it. We’ve become so conditioned to follow this unhealthy idea of “going with the flow” mindset, we forget that we don’t have to. We don’t have to go with the flow of inconvenience, and setting those boundaries to avoid that inconvenience, is perfectly okay. It is perfectly okay to set the rules to your own life, and setting those boundaries should be the first step.
When I realized I was just as responsible for the chaos and stress I allowed in my life, as the ones who were creating it, I knew it was time for me to make a change. That’s when I realized I lacked boundaries. I was accepted things I knew I shouldn’t have, and I wasn’t direct or unwavering with the things I wanted and the things I wasn’t going to allow. With a good enough explanation and/or appropriate apology, I was okay with the inconvenience, neglecting my own personal needs unknowingly.
That’s when I realized the only reason such problems were coming my way to begin with, was simply because I allowed them to. I allowed the inconvenience of others to intercept my life, because of the boundaries I lacked; that’s when I decided to get some, and fast.
That day I decided to set concrete boundaries in my life, that stated what I wanted, what I will allow and the restrictions of it all. I never looked back.
When setting boundaries you must be direct and relentless. There is no sweet talking, or persuading that can occur to sway your beliefs. You list out the things you will allow and accept and everything else is not to be permitted. Period! These boundaries are to be followed, respected and utilized in every aspect of your life.
Yes, it may be difficult to commit to, and you may even feel guilty at times when those boundaries go against opinion of others, but putting yourself first should be the #1 priority in your life.
If you don’t set boundaries, you are bound to be taken advantage of, and you should value yourself enough, not to let that occur.
Boundaries are necessary for our well being and our mental health. It sets the tone of who we are and what we have the potential to be. Love yourself enough to set the restrictions of your life and love yourself enough to actually commit to it.
Set the necessary boundaries in your life today, I promise, your future self will thank you for it.